inside the womb, alan was held as a prisoner. he was jailed for over 10 months. at that time, he put a plan into action - a plan that meant life of death. that plan was to poop.
minutes later, alan rules! was born. he was born a rebel on the run.
the rebellion did not start with the poop, but months before that incident. perhaps the initial rebellion is what caused alan to be held captive so long. the initial rebellion was started by a lone sperm, which had one goal in mind - find the egg and fertilize it.
little did the sperm know, he was fertilizing without a permit. he created life outside of wedlock. when news spread about this, alan's tyrant overlords were punished and forbidden to marry in the catholic church. in this twist of events, that sperm's naivety led to alan's exoneration from religion. hallelujah!
today, alan is pursuing a life of liberty and freedom.